Tonight I filled out my mail in ballot for the elections next week while watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I love this country.
What I don’t love is voting. I know! How totally uncool of me to admit, some American I am! I’m all for the right to vote and democracy, hells yeah! It’s just complicated. Would it kill them to word these propositions in a way that is, I don’t know, understandable? And another thing, from now on I’m keeping a Shit List of all the idiot politicians (And Water Boards! Seriously, I don’t even know what you do!) that call my cell phone and leave pre-recorded propaganda on my voice mail. It’s enough that we have to sit through the commercials all day long that are practically slander. It’s more than enough that 75% of my mail for the last few weeks has been political ads. But it’s way, way over the line for you to start calling my cell phone, the one that I pay for myself with the six cents I have left over after your kind taxes the hell out of me.
Sigh… where was I? Oh, voting is hard. The sense of duty I feel to make the right choice almost paralyzes me, and now you want me to make how many decisions all at once? At least you are provided with a stack of reference materials, but even then I couldn’t make a decision on a few of the propositions.
The easiest propositions to decide? All the ones concerning illegal immigrants and their constitutional rights. Um, dude? You are here ILLEGALLY, you have no rights. The ones I had the most trouble with were, surprisingly, the ones on smoking bans. You wouldn’t think it would be a hard decision for me, considering I read through the two on the Arizona ballot with a cigarette dangling off one hand. They are just very complicated, like everything our government does.
On my selfish side, I actually don’t like smoking in bars. I’m something of a fair weather smoker lately, doing it mostly when out with friends who smoke. At our favorite bar you have to walk outside to stand on the sidewalk in order to light up because it is in a city that has already banned smoking in bars. This makes you smoke less. If the proposition passes that would allow my friend who runs that bar to decide if they wish to allow smoking I know we will be lighting up inside. This will mean I’ll be exposed to more smoke, and because I’m weak I will smoke more. So in a completely selfish way, to help me with the quitting, I almost wanted to make the smokers continue to finish their drinks and walk outside to smoke.
But that’s the problem. People who support the ban on smoking in bars claim it doesn’t hurt business. Um, bull shit. Take one look at the 30 people standing in the parking lot and tell me how many drinks are not being purchased. Take into account that the current ban only applies to certain cities, and that we can drive a mile down the road, into the neighboring city, and light up with a drink in our hands. It costs the bar money, all so the government can step in and tell business owners what they can and can’t do on their own property. No one is forcing non smokers to go in bars, they are just forcing smokers out. He should have the right to decide if people can smoke in his establishment, because the people who can’t handle it will still have the right to go to a non smoking bar. I may not like it when I’m trying to quit the habit in a bar full of cigarettes, but it will be my decision to go to a bar that allows smoking. All in all, the government is getting a little preachy in other people’s business, and it’s hurting my friend’s business. That just squicks me out.
I’m done talking about politics, and I promise not to do it frequently. But, unless you put your time in and vote you have no right to complain, and I like complaining. Almost as much as I like hearing my Mother’s theories. We talked tonight about how you decide who you are voting for when there is no information available about either candidate. I go straight down party lines, or leave it blank. She said the first thing she looks for in that situation is sex. “I vote woman. Women work harder, and I trust them more.”
And because I threatened a post about cats if we didn’t go to Vegas (It turns out one of us forgot he had to work this weekend so it’s been postponed.) here are my two most trusted advisors helping me with the forms. Killer can’t be bothered to discuss such issues with you, and Tux thinks it’s crass to talk about politics. Helpful as usual, the beasts.
