Today was a good day, I’m starting to come out of my funk.  We spent the entire day cleaning and planning.  Tomorrow is my favorite holiday.  The next day I leave for a whirlwind vacation with my family.  I’m on my way out to do our annual pre-Thanksgiving drinking.

I hope everyone had this much fun today.

Dear AARP,

Thank you for your recent letter, but allow me to clarify a few things.

I know that I take more pills then your Grandma.  I know that I complain when it rains because it makes my hips hurt.  Some times I walk with a limp, yes.  I’m can certainly be described as crotchety at times.  I probably should even be on some sort of Ensure protein shake therapy.

However, I am only 25, and would greatly appreciate it if you would stop mailing me applications so close to my birthday.  I already promised that I wouldn’t cry, and you are making this more difficult then it has to be.

Sincerely,
Jen, who doesn’t even have grey hair yet.

Tonight we went out to Hooters.  I’ve never been before because the only way to get me to a place that’s main draw is the semi-naked servers is because of live music.  My best friend’s band played an acoustic set for a local radio station’s charity event.  As they played their awesome set more and more of our friends showed up.  The group ended up sitting down at a table so I could try this “awesome” food you hear so much about.  (Verdict: Bleh.)  To think, I could have sat on my couch and listened to the whole set on the radio…  Actually I couldn’t, some where in the best friend contract it states “Thou shalt go to all shows” and he’s one of the few who didn’t shove a bee in my bonnet as the evening progressed.

It was hard to get a grasp on the night, being in a place that freaks me out, hundreds of people milling around, lots of sports and several friends.  We talked a lot, some people way too much.  I’ve heard enough talk about my own hooters to last a lifetime, including seemingly well thought out reasons on why I shouldn’t have them reduced.  I didn’t know other people had such strong opinions about my body parts.  If this wasn’t Arizona, and therefore 80 degrees tonight, I would have slapped a hoodie right over the conservative shirt I had on.  A bit much to be discussing over dinner, ya think?

We sat at the table, in the most stimulating atmosphere I have been in for the last two months, and we talked for hours.  It was more fun then I expected, considering the location and strange mix of people.  As the group dwindled talk turned to why people just can’t get along.  We fought the fight we’ve been fighting for two months and both stated our cases.  These two people in my life may have only been fighting this particular fight for a few months, but I have been involved in these types of friendship/relationship mini-dramas for as a long as I can remember.  I have become the “go to girl” for when you want to bitch about someone in our circle.

It became apparent that some how, in all the relationships that have fallen apart, grown apart, or just plain blown the fuck up around me in the last ten years, I am the one that’s left standing.  I’m the one that knows both sides, can make a case for both sides, yet some how manages not get taken down when someone else’s friendship implodes.  I get to keep all the friends who don’t talk to each other any more, who’ve separated from each other for whatever reason.  I’m like a walking scrapbook of everyone’s past friendships.  They know about the other only because I manage to maintain contact with both parties, regardless of who caused the falling out between the two.  Inevitably they end up crashing together when they show up to be with me.

Not only do I seem to constantly be in charge of getting people together, of having my friends around me, of setting up nights out where most of the people are there because I asked them to be, but some how I’m in charge of managing the ones that have fallen apart too?  I get to worry about how she is going to feel when this one shows up unannounced, and how the other two are going to work this out before they destroy us over a head gasket.  This is getting to be exhausting.

I’m tired of being the glue.  I’m not sure how I ended up here, being the one that everyone trusts.  I know, what kind of Class A bitch do I sound like even complaining about this?  I guess you could say that I “volunteer” to be this person, but why would I ever do that?  It’s hard to maintain the calm, but I know if I don’t no one else will.  I just don’t understand why I’m the one that everyone goes to when they need to talk.  I don’t go to anyone to talk about serious issues because I don’t trust anyone.  Realizing tonight that I’m that person in all of these groups just threw me, don’t they realize how I am?

This is pretty much how I feel about all of life today.

It started the instant I woke up in the middle of a dream that I had forehead cancer.  Seriously, FOREHEAD cancer, so the doctors euthanized me.  Really, what dream is complete with out euthanasia?  I had limited time before falling asleep forever to make several deathbed phone calls, which is just as horrifying as it sounds.   I was still shaken after being awake for an hour, so I attempted to forget the dream with Sex and the City DVDs (It’s an addiction, I must be stopped.) when my daily “eat the pill” reminder/horoscope text message was delivered to my phone. 

“Especially vivid dreams will come soon, ushering you into an exciting time of life.”

I better start having dreams about sex and cute boys, pronto.  The saying goodbye to family members and making my boys cry dreams are not the kind of exciting life I want.  Damn, my subconscious is fucked up.

Obviously a great time was had by all, including Chris who probably won’t remember anything that happened after midnight, which is fine since by then it was technically his birthday!

Randy checking on Chris

Sammy

Brandi and Shannon

I swear all those shots weren’t for me.

The night actually went better then I expected.  I haven’t laughed that hard in a long, long time, and it was great seeing some friends who I hadn’t seen recently.  Denny’s afterward was a blast, until I couldn’t even finish my meal due to this stomach ailment that will not die, and I totally could have lived without the flat tire at five in the morning.  But all in all, the best night in a while, totally worth getting off my couch for.

I’m going to rip myself away from my DVD player (Which has been looping Sex and the City for the last three days, thanks Kristi!) and go out.  Again with the leaving the house.  But, it’s for excellent and funny musicians, good friends and cheap drinks in a cool bar.  It should look something like this, which was last April.

Well, except Lindsey and her finger are going to be at work.  (Work, blah, who needs a job?)  So, it’s going to look more like this:

This was two weeks ago.  Maybe we are in a rut?  We party at the same three bars year round?  Well, I guess you can’t really complain when we look like this the entire time we’re in this bar.

And you can’t complain that this is a total bull shit post.  I have nothing to write about, I literally have been watching Sex and the City for days.  Sure, it’s given me lots to think about since I hang out with plenty of single people, but I can’t write about it, my parental units read this site!  The last thing they want to read about are my opinions on and experiences with various sexual issues. (I have no opinions, Biddies!  None at all, and certainly no experiences!)

One of the things that surprises me the most about being an aunt is how shocked I am at some of the things the kids have learned.  I don’t mean the high fives, kisses and stuffing back entire cheeseburgers, Jorden practiced all those tonight and they didn’t shock me.  (Ok, honestly, the cheeseburger thing freaked me out a little bit, he shoveled that thing down his throat like a champ.  Kid can eat!)

What surprises me is the things they do that we didn’t teach them.  We’ve taught Zachary many words, including cock blocker which I swear was an accident and a testament to his excellent hearing since I had my back to him, leaning over the stove, and said it under my breath so the person I was talking to on the phone wouldn’t hear it, it wasn’t at all like when he learned the word shit because he was around me all day which I totally blame myself for…  any way…

Everything we’ve taught him hasn’t been quite so scandalous, although we do find it endlessly amusing when he walks up to his Great Grandma and says “You don’t know me, punk.” and the end of this video when he yells “You want a piece of me?  Here!”

My point is, it’s one thing when the kids do things that we’ve taught them.  I don’t think twice when Zach yells out “Gangsta!” because I know where he got that from.  But, when he looked me dead in the eye across the dinner table tonight and said, in the most serious manner a three year old can muster, “I’ll eat you like a chocolate sandwich” it completely threw me.  He definitely didn’t learn that from us, I’m not even sure if that means he’s mad at me, or if I was his favorite person today.

I left my house today.  I did so, here’s proof!

I went to lunch with two of my favorite girls, Kristi and Jessica, and Jessica’s eight month old son Michael (Eight months!! When will the children stop growing?).

And now I just realized the only time I’ve left my house in the last few weeks has been for drinks or children…  Whatever, I got off my couch, what more can you expect from me?

Whoever thought it was a good idea to put William Shatner on a television program that encourages him to dance should be shot.

Where’s the damn remote?  Also, it might be time for me to leave my house.  Just a thought.

Alright, let’s get this over with.  This review is 70+ days late and I’m not even going to pretend that I remember what the hell went on in August.  Here’s what I remember, I hurt my back and spent two weeks writhing in pain on my couch, not so interesting.  Then I went on a cross country trek to bring my best friend back to AZ, mildly interesting.  So, we’ll just call this the “Road Trip” edition of our Month in Reviews.

Good Stuff:  I have to say, the ENTIRE trip was good.  Considering how worried I was about it, I couldn’t have asked for anything more.  A perfect blend of relaxing, sight seeing, and driving.

Do anything this month I’d never done before?
This is a good place to start.  The whole trip was filled with things I had never done before, and all in states I’d never been in before.

Day One:  Luckily we were only in VA an hour before crossing into to West Virginia, because I was a bit freaked out being in my old home state.  That drive was the first time I had heard anyone’s grandparents tell stories about the mob!

We headed to Jeff’s aunt and uncle’s house, and it was definitely the first time I wasn’t nervous meeting someone’s family, everyone I’ve met so far has been awesome.  We sat in a screened in porch and they told stories about the boys as children.  The wind kicked up sending leaves swirling, and I had the first moment on the trip that I knew I would never forget.  Then his family got us drunk.  Really, really drunk.

I had a blast with them, but was glad to get back to his Grandma’s awesome house and sit on the porch with a beer and many cigarettes and pepper the boy with questions.

I could have stayed out there all night, he’d been gone a month and I had to determine if he was really ok.  Finally the rain led us to call it a (semi) early night, which is definitely a first for us!

Day Two:  We woke up at a decent hour and sat on the couch surrounded by every map we could find in the house.  Begrudgingly we decided to head out the next day.  We explored West Virginia the rest of the day.

We hiked through two caves, and I only I fell down one flight of stairs!  We drove fast through the mountain roads, and at the last minute decided to hit the state fair.  We went on our first Ferris Wheel ride.

He talked me into shooting a gun, which is very unlike me.  Jeff and I cooked dinner together for the first time for his Grandma, and she told us more stories about the family.

We ended the night again on the porch, wishing it wasn’t cloudy so we could see the stars, and I spotted my first firefly since the last time I went to Ocracoke, NC.  Today also held the first time of many that one of us made fun of the other for talking with an accent.  “Grandma!  Jen’s been here for two days and she’s already talkin’ like Aunt Patty!”  The best part was, he yelled it across the house in a southern accent! 

Day Three:   Woke up, showered and then the three of us drove into town.  Took care of some business, returned phone calls while we briefly had phone service and then we hit the road.

The plan was to blaze through West Virginia, Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois and get to St. Louis in time to hit some bars.  We made good time through the first two states, and then got pulled over for speeding for the first time in Indiana.  Jeff got a ticket, so we tried to be a bit more careful.

It was after ten at night, some where in southern Illinois when we first deviated from our very loose plan.  By a spectacular error in his math Jeff decided that Chicago was only slightly further then our original destination of St. Louis.  By the time we realized how very wrong his math was we were too set on the idea of seeing Chicago, and we had already found a free place to crash.  So, Chicago it was!

Jeff lets me drive for the first time so he can navigate us through the city, and he can play with the camera.  Then he experiences for the first time my driving panic attacks.  Chicago drivers are scary, even at two in the morning!  He managed to keep me laughing through the kamikaze drivers and construction and we hit the sack exhausted.

Day Four:  Up and out the door with a list of things to see.  We rode the train (First time for both of us!) into the city and walked up the stairs into the coolest downtown I have ever seen.

Get to Sears Tower just before the rush.  We stand on the railing with our foreheads on the glass and stare straight down to the street.  My ears popped in the elevator like nothing I have ever experienced.

This picture is too dark but we both just look like such giddy dorks.

One of my favorite moments in Chicago was after we left Sears Tower, we sat on a patio below the building over looking the water for almost an hour just enjoying how perfect the weather was.  I could have sat there all day.  But we had been given a list of “must see” places and spotted a water taxi headed straight to Navy Pier, our next destination.  We wandered the pier and started the drinking.

We decided to treat ourselves (Um, we never do that.) and have a nice dinner in the best restaurant we could find.  He actually talked me into trying oysters.

Only after I threw back the first one did I realize they are raw, but very yummy.  We bought our first, and last pack of cigarettes in Cook County, how the hell can people afford to smoke there?  Then we took the train down to see the end of the Cubs game.  Why not?  We got in our first argument of the trip, but recovered quickly and hit several bars.

I don’t remember much of this night after the ball game (Har, har.) but do remember having a glaringly serious conversation, the first really serious conversation we’d ever had on that particular topic.  Because we were intoxicated and giddy on adventure we decided to get off the Red Line in the middle of downtown so we could see the buildings at night.

Day Five:  We were still up pretty early with the intention of hitting the Field Museum and the aquarium, then heading out of town to St. Louis.  That plan was scrapped by the time we ate breakfast and heard they have fireworks at Navy Pier on Wednesdays.  We know of my love for all things firework related, and I think Jeff needed any excuse to stay in Chicago a little longer.

We wandered through the museum until they literally threw us out at closing.

Then we took another perfectly placed water taxi over to the Pier and hung out until the fireworks started.

We rode our second Ferris Wheel while on the Pier.  It was a long walk back to the train on very tired feet.  We got back to the place we were staying planning to jump in the truck and head out.  You see how our plans have gone thus far?  A blue car had blocked our truck in, we were stuck.  I fell down another couple steps for good measure and then I lost my shit.  So Jeff got to see me cry while I wasn’t intoxicated for the first time ever.  He was freaked, I was just so ready to leave, I really didn’t want to spend another night in the loudest apartment ever created, even if it was free, and I was sick of falling down stairs!  Jeff lured me upstairs with a beer and cigarettes, and we sat on the porch as it started to rain.  Just when we were a little too buzzed and tired to even consider the five hour drive to St. Louis the blue car unblocked us.  We settled in for the last night in that loud apartment, made even more unbearable by a huge thunderstorm.  I don’t like thunderstorms, but for the first time was able to sleep through one just from pure exhaustion.

Day Six:  We woke up bright and early to another car blocking us in.

Luckily the spot next to us was open and the boy worked some thousand point turn magic while I stood in the rain vaguely directing him.  Despite our rough last night, I was sad to say goodbye to Chicago, we had an excellent time there.  We made blazing good time to St. Louis.  The plan:  hit the arch, find a cushy hotel with an excellent pool, shower and then commence the drinking.  We should have known that anything we planned at this point was bound to be thrown out the window.  We did the Arch.

Then we made our first navigation mistake when we somehow got stuck on a road with a bridge too low for us to make it under.

So, more three point turns.

We were tired and dirty and starting to annoy each other, but St. Louis seemed a bit run down, so we just decided to keep driving west.  We stopped for dinner at White Castle because I had never had it.  I was not impressed.  Yech.  We tried to stay at a casino we found along the way, but when they were booked we just crashed at the next place we found, in Boonville, MO.  Only sights we saw in Boonville was the hot tub for our angry muscles.

Day Seven:  The boy still hadn’t learned how to wake me up properly (Hint:  Not by yelling, flicking, or throwing a water bottle at me.) and we get into a tiff about cereal or something, first thing in the morning.  We were running late and it’s pouring rain, we’re off to an excellent start.  We hate each other all the way across Missouri, which is new for us.  We spend most of Kansas trying to avoid horrible weather and complaining about how flat it is.

I think this is the first time he indulged my picture taking, sunflowers in CO.

We started counting cows in Colorado (He won, because he’s a cheater.) and didn’t take any major highways in the whole state.

Sometime around 11 p.m. he demands that I take a half hour nap so I can drive for a while.  I wake up over an hour later feeling like I’ve had horrible dreams.  Turns out we drove up and then back down the Rockies, which we didn’t expect because we didn’t think to check the map for huge fucking mountain ranges.  He let me sleep through it so I wouldn’t freak out.  Good call.

Day Eight:  We’d just crossed into Arizona after midnight.  We switch places, Jeff letting me drive for only the second time on the trip!  I make good time through most of the reservation until I, too, get pulled over.  Damn it.  I smacked Jeff to wake him up.  I should have let him sleep because we spent the entire traffic stop trying to control our laughter.  The last place I want to get involved with the cops is on an Indian Reservation, they have their own rules up there!  The first thing the cop asks is if we have drugs in the truck.  This makes me laugh out loud and I tell him that we picked the truck up from Jeff’s Grandmother, so no.  He presses on to make sure we don’t have bombs or illegal aliens either.  For the first time in years I kept my smart ass mouth in check and didn’t say anything else until he walked back to his car.

Hell, if we had illegal aliens back there they would be hungry by now!  We laughed the whole time we thought he was back there writing me a ticket, but Jeff stopped laughing when I got off with only a warning and permission to go ten miles over the limit, “That’s not fair!!  It’s because you’re cuter!”  It’s not my fault he got a ticket and I didn’t, I was just excited for getting out of a ticket for the first time!  I got us to Flagstaff where I decided it was a good idea to switch drivers.  I had spotted a horse standing on the open bed of a semi truck and was very concerned for it’s, and our, safety right up until I realized it was a statue.  Yeah, time for me to nap.  Jeff actually let me sleep all the way into town, and finally, on the last day of the trip learned how to wake me up.

The fam at the house did most of the unpacking.  We’d been in the truck for 24 hours straight, I’d never done that before.  We passed out cold before even eating breakfast.

Coolest unexpected night:  Would have to be the first night in Chicago.  First of all, we didn’t even plan to go to Chicago, ya know, seeing how it wasn’t on the way!  Then, on the waiter’s suggestion, we took the train down to watch the Cubs.   (I know, me at a sporting event, amazing.)  We ended up in three (Four?  I have no idea I was slightly intoxicated) bars in the area trying new beers and stand by shots.  Finally we rode the Blue Line back to the apartment we were staying at.  I couldn’t have predicted any of that.

Weirdest night:  Well, that would still be the first night in Chicago.  It’s weird that the most romantic meal I’ve ever eaten was with my best friend.  It was the nicest restaurant I had ever been in, and certainly the most I had ever spent on a meal!  To follow up our strange meal we got in our only “actual” fight at the baseball game that was resolved when he poured two beers down my throat and agreed that next time homeless men are hassling us he would not tell them I was carrying all of our money.

Proud of:  Jeff.  By the time we finished walking around the Gateway Arch in St. Louis we were a bit sick of each other.  A nasty combination of little sleep the night before, no shower that morning, and being sore had made the day a little bitchy.  Just before this I think I had flipped him the bird and hobbled away on my busted up foot towards the truck.  Not only did he catch up, but he passed me, it’s probably a lot easier to keep up pace when you haven’t fallen down two flights of stairs!  He beat me across the park and this parking garage, and even though we had been snipping at each other he stood in that elevator and held the door open for me while I gimped my ass across that parking garage.

This is why I won’t even look at guys that aren’t gentlemen, because my best friends are.

Violent Much?  “I might be bringing your boy home in a body bag if he doesn’t chill out”  I sent this text to John when Jeff and I hit our “rough patch” on the trip. 

Best advice:  Came from John when I sent him that text while driving across Missouri.  He told me we both needed to put on our separate iPods and ignore each other.  And we did.

Song Lyric of the Month:  I took our advantage of our “alone time” by cranking Jimmy Eat World all the way across that miserable state.  JEW is simply excellent road trip music, and it was calming.  By the time I got through “Just Watch the Fireworks” I was over fighting with the boy.  The line “I promised I’d see this with you now” struck me hard, I did promise I’d see this trip through with him, expecting it to be very difficult.  And it wasn’t difficult at all, we were just cranky and comfortable enough together to take it out on each other.

By the time we crossed the border into Kansas and had to start re-navigating to avoid the horrible storms on the horizon Jeff and I were back to good.  We spent the next eight hours driving with the radio off, chatting, laughing, and counting cows.

Music:  Even with TWO iPods I was sick off all music by the time we got back home.  We listened to a lot of our standbys, Papa Roach, Yellowcard, For the Record.  He even let me play “girly” music for a while, Angels and Airwaves, and Jimmy Eat World.  We burned through 14 AAA batteries in 8 days for the FM transmitter, and I can’t imagine spending that much time in the truck before the invention of music. 

Song of the Month:  “Devil Went Down to Georgia” by Charlie Daniels Band.  We were racing through the mountains in West Virginia, it was dark and the song just fit.  And, I was very impressed that Jeff knew all of the words.

Most awkward conversation:  Somewhere in Kansas and my Mom calls to check in.  She had been with Lindsey when I sent Lindsey a text saying “Now it’s two against one, but I’m not sure who’s side alien baby is on.”  The entire time my Mom and I are talking about alien baby Jeff is looking at me out of the corner of his eye making it clear that he has no clue what is going on, and is a little frightened.  I suddenly remembered I had never explained to him exactly what “alien baby” was.  But, he watched me walk out of a gas station that morning with a sack full of Midol and donuts and a chocolate milkshake in the other hand.  I rarely eat sweets so he should have been able to figure that one out on his own.

Any mileposts?  Well, if you want to be technical, Jeff and I passed over 2,700 mileposts in that cramped truck.  Not only that, but we both lived through our first vacation together, which is the true milepost.

Favorite Party buds:  Because I had seriously screwed my back up, by closing a door at work, apparently I am delicate, I spent most of the month on a heating pad on my couch, so there was no partying before I flew out to start this whirlwind trip.  Even so, Jeff still would have won this category, we have a blast when we’re just sitting next to each other on the couch, let alone drinking across middle America.  He fed me what he now claims was $90 worth of liquor during our pub crawl after the baseball game, and then sobered up so he could navigate the trains to get us home, but the best part was waking up to a purse full of peanuts, his calling card.

I can’t say enough about spending eight days of freedom with your best friend, but I will say that it was good to be back in Phoenix again.  We spent our first night in the valley at our regular bar, and I was happy to be see these guys.

Quotes of the Month:  “I have to drive the train.”  Jeff, ever responsible, making me take shots alone so he could get us back across town in Chicago.

I can’t remember who started it, but Jeff and I both said “No bueno” quite frequently while traversing the mountains in the pitch black darkness of Colorado.  Even better is the fact that it kept coming out in the West Virginia accents we’d picked up.

Runner up, my coworker who said “Gracias, mi amiga.” after I helped him out with something.  He then added, “That means thank you very much… white girl.” which hasn’t failed to make me laugh since.

Where most of my money went:  Not surprisingly, I spent the most money on getting Jeff home.  It was cheaper then I expected, we only ate at one good restaurant, and only had to spend one night in a hotel.  It was a chunk of change, but worth every penny to see several new states and get the boy back to Arizona.

Best text messages received:
Suck donkey butt. My right shoe has fallen apart. I’m literally holding it together with pins. Suck ass!
Thank u sweety! I owe u lunch
There u go talking about spots again!
I cant take these boys
I broke the law and trespassed and then fell down and skinned my knee hopping the fence. I so couldn’t be a criminal
Man gravy
No patch. Sorry dude. Just eye drops. No pirate today
Ppl in virginia talk funny
I am drunk give me a break
(?forU) Do U want me back?
R u all packed liquid free hahaha
I have 2 pee
How do u speed in a u haul
What! You are going to shoot a gun? I’ll believe it when I see it. How fun to be at Wrigley stadium

Strangest text messages I sent:
Leave it to Jeff to get me back in Virginia… oh boy.
I did not hurl at the gas station now I just have to make it home
Back on heating pad like an old woman
I am craving texas roadhouse like the dirty fiend addict that I am. I had dreams about it!
Fucker. You know I’m stuck at a desk you tease! Tease!
We’re at the roadhouse throwing peanuts at each other and I miss you. I wish I was coming tomorrow
I am shit faced drunk in west virginia. Fun.
You’re welcome. You’re also allowed to talk to me

That Was Dumb:  I overslept and woke up at the exact time that I was supposed to be across town at my best friends’ house.  I sent both of them the same text.  “I’m late.  Just woke up, leaving soon.  Sorry.”  John calls me almost immediately after I send the text.  I’m on the phone with him just long enough to determine that he is freaking out when Jeff sends me a text, “What??”  Now I know something is amiss, Jeff never uses punctuation in text.  Just when I start to wonder what the hell is going on over there I am able to decipher what John is wigging out about.  Apparently, you should never send a text to your two male best friends starting with “I’m late.”  They will assume you are knocked up and freak the fuck out.

Sorry boys.

Most Random IM conversation:
Brigette:  that aint no shit
Jen:  that is the most ghetto thing you have ever said to me

Gratuitous kid pic:  I know there is a special place in hell for me because I drew eyebrows on my nephew.

But!  It was Lindsey’s comment about him lacking eyebrows, and Shannon not only gave permission but assisted, so they’re going down with me!

Worst Pick Up Line:  First night I meet this boy, who is now a friend, he turns to me and says “I’m sorry, did you just say you wanted to make out?”  No, no I didn’t.  And I don’t.

Weird Compliments:  “You have the most beautiful breasts.”  Avoided that guy like the plague for the rest of the night, and I’m never wearing that shirt to the bar again.

Crappy Stuff:  Our first day back in town we had to find a way to get Jeff’s broken down car back to the house.  I knew it wasn’t going to be fun necessarily, but it was hell from front to back.

Starting with having to go to two locations to find the stupid dolly, to having John force me steer the car on to the dolly, and then not being able to get the car off the dolly.  I was on my way into the house to lay down with the dogs, resigning myself to the fact that Jeff’s car would forever be attached to mine, when the boys used their heads instead of boulders from the yard and figured it out.

Laugh of the Month:  Of course, they didn’t figure out how to get the car off until they tried with all their manly strength to push it off the dolly.  I had once again been forced into the car, sitting in the heat with a prime view of them both pushing their little hearts out right in front of me.  I can’t really be blamed for bursting into gut busting laughter when the car didn’t budge an inch, can I?  They weren’t pleased with my hysterical giggling at first, as I totally broke their concentration, just long enough to realize pushing was not going to work, so they joined me in laughter.

Birthdays?  Brothers and girls.

Bryon

Shaun, here with his son Sam and Dad

Charlie, with Brig’s son Jackson

Jen II

Last year:  There’s a note on my calendar on August 9, 2005 that says simply “I Quit.”  I have no clue what that’s about.

Two years ago:  Last time we went to church.

Saddest Day:  The first day I returned to work after the trip was horrendous.  I actually had to leave the building because I could not stop crying.  I think that is why it took me over two months to actually talk about this month, because it’s when I first realized I was going to have to battle depression, again.

Hair Watch 2006 Status:  It’s long, my bangs have grown out a lot.  A woman at my favorite bar declared I have karma sutra hair and should never cut it.  I don’t even know what that means.

Graph:  I decided to track who can actually make me laugh so hard that I snort.  It happens, on occasion.

This is actually close to what I would have guessed, my family is hysterically funny, and I watched a lot of funny movies in August.  Jeff probably wouldn’t normally be quite that high, but we spent more time together this month than normal.  (You should also know there is an error margin of at least 10% because I snort more while intoxicated, and I probably forgot to write those down.  I guess overall this graph means nada!)